I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
