ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
