you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize