Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
