Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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