? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
