If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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