u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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