ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
