i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Randomize
