I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize