420 ftw
I think my vagina is haunted
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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