what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
