I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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