I just made out with a guy for $7.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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