i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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