no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize