Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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