He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
