Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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