i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
