I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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