I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
