just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
