i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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