Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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