she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Randomize
