Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
