He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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