My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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