peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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