so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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