I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
