he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
