I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
