Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
