Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
