Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think my fart just growled at me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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