Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
