Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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