walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
