there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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