he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Im part way to drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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