I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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