If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
