You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
