love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
