yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
