I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
