I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
