i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
