what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
