i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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