Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
