Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
