I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.