oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.