There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
