I just pynch a tree in the face
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
