am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
