Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wish I only lived at night.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize