I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
