dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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