I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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