The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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