He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
