Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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