I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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