Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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