Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
