i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
